I haven’t blogged in a few months, and I have really missed it. There has been so much going on here, and I have been sad about not having all my kids under one roof. It is tough, really tough. But I just had a conversation with Boo, my 35-year-old trapped in the body of a 9 year-old daughter and she told me that just because it is tough, that does not mean I should stop living life and writing my blog. True that.

This is the same daughter who was there when I was giving birth to my son. Now, THAT was tough. We were nearing his arrival after 10 hours of labor, and I was beyond exhausted. “I just want to meet him” I cried as I was sprawled out on the bed. My nine-year-old pointed at me from across the room and shouted “Well, if you want to meet him, make it happen. You are the one in control here. If you want it, do it.”

My son was born moments later.

There is another reason I have taken some time off my blog. I have been concentrating all effort into a different writing project, fiction I would like to get produced. It is my dream and I am making it happen. What is prompting me to kick this into high gear? My son. The boy is 13 years old and wants to be a singer (he has an amazing voice, by the way, that so overwhelms with its sincerity and beauty you’ll want to cry). The boy doesn’t just dream it; he is it. And he hasn’t even seen Rocky Horror. He started over the summer producing YouTube videos, and made 25 in four weeks. He continues to put himself out there with a constant stream of videos. I am so crazy proud I can’t even stand it.

I took Spencer, my 13-year-old singer, to Los Angeles this fall and told him I would invest in him because he was investing in himself and I would take him to agencies in L.A.. So, we got some headshots done, which he paid to have printed, he wrote his own resume and off we went to agencies. He walked into each office alone, told them he wanted representation, and asked to meet with someone. He made follow-up visits and wrote follow-up emails. Did I mention the boy wrote his own resume? We haven’t heard back from any agencies yet, but from my perspective – it doesn’t matter. The boy is 13 years old and walked into major agencies in L.A. and put himself out there. He produces videos where he pours his soul into each song and opens himself up to criticism with the kind of chutzpah most 13-year-olds only ever see in movies. God, if I were that fabulous at 13, where would I be now?

We have a lot to learn from our kids.

My other girl is 10 and quite possibly the sweetest person I have ever met. She is kind and considerate in the most genuine way possible. She takes the demanding and often aggressive nature of her siblings in stride and meets them wherever they are with earnest and friendly concern from her heart. When all hell is breaking loose, which in our house is the norm, while my editor husband and I are running around putting out fires and Karate-chopping ninjas dropping from the ceiling [Editor’s note: We seriously have to close down those ninja ventilation shafts], we must make sure to pause to notice and thank Cheyenne. She is usually sitting serenely at the table, drawing heartwarming pictures of us holding hands.

When Cheyenne is helping us out, which is always, and getting the little ones dressed she exhibits patience and empathy way beyond the point where I would leave the room shouting “Fine, wear your bathing suit and Minnie Mouse ears to school – I don’t care!” I watch Cheyenne calmly explain that sometimes even Minnie Mouse can get cold in a bathing suit when it is forty degrees outside and I think “I so want to be her when grow up.”

I want to be like all of them. They inspire me and push me to be a better person every day. Sometimes when we have children we think of it as the end of our dreams, the giving up being “The Great… whatever”- but I would challenge us to think of it differently. Challenge us to think of it as the beginning of making our dreams come true, because we now not only answer to ourselves, but also to these incredible spirits we bring into our world.

How can we ask them to be their very best selves when we are not doing the same? When we have children, we have such beautiful hopes and dreams for them, we see that there is an amazing world in front of them and there is nothing stopping them from grabbing life by the balls [Editor’s note: Did you seriously just say that?], that anything is possible for them. Well, guess what? That same amazing world is also in front of you. Life’s balls are also there for you to grab [Editor’s note: Life seems to have enough balls to go around for everyone]. Stop saying your kid is going to grow up and be a doctor – get yourself to med school and become a doctor, for the love of God! I have a friend who started med school at 40. Do the math, it makes sense. She still has a long career as a doctor ahead of her. It is never too late. I don’t have to start talking about Grandma Moses, David Mamet or David Seidler or all the others who found great success late in life here, do I?

If you want your kids to think nothing can stop them, don’t let anything stop you. We have to be the kind of people we want them to be, or we at least need to be working towards that. Be as great as your kids already think you are, and strive to be as amazing and wonderful as they are.