Three years ago (perhaps not so coincidentally after the 2016 elections in the United States) my family decided on an international move. 

The time was right as we felt our home country was becoming more hostile, more racist, and decidedly less like a place where we wanted our children to grow into adults.

So, I googled things like “Happiest Place on Earth” and “Countries with No Military” (turns out there’s a correlation there) and thanks to Google’s autofill, “Best places to live when Armageddon happens.” One country seemed to be on every list – Costa RIca.

For those who might be unfamiliar with Costa Rica, it is not an island; it is a country in Central America.

Yes, it is a jungle with sloths – but it is also a bazillion other things, as it is very biodiverse.

There are cities and real hospitals; there are taxes and elections.

People have a lot of weird notions about Costa Rica, but I promise the elected officials are not monkeys, there are drinks other than coconut water, and the roads are paved (well, at least most of them).

Okay, so it may be a little of what you think it is, but mostly what we have found is that it is a gorgeous country populated with the kindest people we have ever encountered. 

Costa Ricans have a saying: “Pura Vida.” Pura Vida is a way of life; it is something to aspire to. 

Directly translated it means “pure life”, but it is closer to “Hakuna Matata”, meaning “no worries”. Pura Vida is a bit like Shalom or Aloha in that it means many things; “hello”, “goodbye”, “peace”, “welcome home”, and “it’s all good.”

It is a beautiful sentiment that reminds us nothing is worth stressing about as we live here in paradise.

That being said, we need this sentiment because things are much, much harder here. 

Which brings us to my list of things I have learned living in Costa Rica…

 

I Can Do Hard Things

I really can. Living solely in the U.S. makes it incredibly difficult to have perspective on how cushie your life is. Slightest hunger or thirst? Drive through something and solve that problem! Need an obscure item? Order it today and it will arrive tomorrow (or in two hours)? You never need to leave your house to have all your needs met and convenience is king. 

Not so much here in Central America. 

The nearest drive-through is an hour’s drive away.

Stores are small and choice is almost non-existent. You want a towel holder? There is one available at one store in the area…and Go! 

The closest prepared meal type thing I can find is a rotisserie chicken a 20-minute drive away. Paying your monthly bills sometimes requires physical trips to physical places, waiting in line, and navigating through the process with a human whose first language is not your own.

It is both charming and annoying.

For sure, it is harder. But, as it turns out, I can do the hard things:

• I can explain in Spanish that I want the fat left on the cut of meat. 
• I can convince dogs, cows, and horses to step aside and let me pass them on the road.
• I can survive scorpion stings and rip tides.

I arrived knowing nothing, and together, we figured it all out. 

I am badass in ways I never would have known had I stayed in the comfort of my home country.

 

I Don’t Need Precious Things; I Need Precious people.

When I used to have a life where I owned a six-bedroom home with a pool in a coastal suburb of Connecticut, I owned a lot of stuff. 

• I am not even a shopper or a collector, but I owned everything a sporting goods store carries just in case we needed an emergency badmitten set.
• I owned a laminator and a massage chair.
• I served dinners with ramekins and two kinds of knives.
• I owned two large closets filled with nothing but wigs and costumes.

It was a lot. 

A lot of fun, but a lot.

I walked through the world heavily, through the burdensome melange of “just in case” items that sometimes clogged the flow of life.

Coming to Costa Rica changed all that.

We liquidated everything except for 14 boxes we took on the plane, not knowing they would sit on the runway through a hurricane for hours in Houston and later land in Costa Rica in flooded tatters.

We took only what was absolutely necessary and the universe STILL found a way to say we were placing too much importance on our possessions.

Now we live in a place where it is very difficult to find many items we could easily find in the States. It is simply impossible to find many conveniences. We do without because we have no choice. But it turns out life without ramekins is not so bad. I used to deck the halls like a bohemian Martha Stewart on ayawaska – but now we have a small tree with a few ornaments. Christmas stockings are a staple because they fold nicely. But it’s not the Connecticut Hallmark scene I would normally create. 

I was worried about the kids if I kinda just hit auto-reply instead of really bringing the holiday magic. But you know what? We still had holiday magic.

I promise.

The grinch was right.

• It came without ribbons 
• It came without tags 
• It came without packages, boxes, or bags. 

We have had beautiful Christmases here. As it turns out, your people are everything. 

 

I Can Soothe Myself

So, I have reached the conclusion that life in the U.S. comes with aggression and trauma built into the daily. Sometimes the pace is upsetting, strangers are aggressive, with the overall mood settling on a feeling of just waiting to go home and go to bed.

The more aggression and anxiety you have, the more you need to self-soothe. For me, this looked like spa days and Target trips, like prepared foods and a daily starbucks run. I wanted to be pampered all the time, as compensation for all the fear and anger that surrounded me. 

Here in Costa Rica, I don’t have the same need. Things are more difficult, but people are more chill, and that makes all the difference.  Besides, even if I did want to self-soothe, there is not much available to me. No Target or Starbucks, and let’s just say convenience items have not really taken the country by storm.

But I have learned that if you are happy on the daily, you are no longer desperate to seek refuge from your own life. It is a beautiful feeling. 

 

The World is a Small Place

We run into all the people all the time here. People passing through; people who have lived here a long time; and the mostly gypsy families that have a 1-3 year stint in paradise. What we now know for sure is that none of it matters. Where you have lived and where you were born and where you are going is only part of your story. The more you encounter people who are from all over the world, the more you realize how much it makes sense to only judge them based on their hearts and minds.

Also, the world is not so big to the travelling gypsy hearts who roam through here.

We can meet up all over the world!

 

Making Do

I love this one. We live in a place where Amazon is tricky and expensive, so our addiction (Editor’s note: What?! There’s no addiction!) was broken. 

We also live in a place where shopping is always a challenge, if you want to fight against consumer temptation, come be my neighbor.

It changes you. 

We needed a wastebasket but couldn’t find one, so we put a liner in a box for 5 months until we could find one. Nobody died.

I now make my own coffee everyday and I have actually saved money and been more environmentally friendly.

I can’t find furniture pieces I want, so my husband and I often make them, and yet I still think the kids have a shot at being well-adjusted.

 

My Kids Are Tough

Hells yes they are! They arrived aged seven, eight, and (hardest of all) 15, with no real Spanish and no real idea of how to navigate life in a completely different part of the world.

They figured their shit out.

They are tough, and their continuously bare feet are even tougher.

 

Rural Communities are Tight

Man, are they ever. Expat communities are tight for sure, but add the rural component and you have instant family.

When I first arrived here, I really did not know how to drive in Costa Rica and, well, let’s just say I ended up in a lot of ditches. 

And the community around me came together to help me. Every. Single. Time. Not only the expats, but the local Ticos saved us as well.

And not in a “I will call AAA for you” kind of way, but in a “we will stay here and physically lift your car out of the mud until your family is safe” kind of way. 

And in a “my uncle has a truck and my friend has a chain and I have called them both” kind of way.

And in a “I am on my way to church, which is very important to me, but I will stop and help you because helping you is church” kind of way. 

And in a “we see you are out of your element, but don’t worry — we have you, Pura Vida” kind of way.

Every rescue was amazing, and dear, and changed me on a cellular level.

 

People Everywhere Love Their Family, Food, Community and the Ocean

This is just a true story, friends. 

When considering a move, one thing we really wanted for our family is the opportunity to experience life in a completely different way. To see how another culture lives and to realize that although much is different, the elements of community that remain the same are beautiful. 

We have seen that Costa Rican people love to gather with family, friends, food and music.

Check.

We have seen that they love their babies, encourage new love, and mourn their dead.

Check. 

We have seen that they have reverence for the sacred ocean, especially as the sun sets.

Check. 

As it turns out, people all around the world are pretty consistent.

Our food may be different, but it is a source of love and nourishment.

Our climate may be different, but we all find ways to gather in comfort.

Our houses may look very different, but they all hold families and all of the best and worst moments. 

What Costa Rica has given me is a sense that there are many ways to do things, but if you keep love at the center – none of the details matter. 

 

Pura Vida.