Archive

In a few weeks, my husband and I will get married…again. This will be our third time because we decided lifelong commitments are only for suckers and the devil. We promised to reevaluate, renegotiate, and remarry every 5 years for as long as we both shall love. For us, this time meant unpacking a lot […]

If there is one thing the US is more obsessed with than guns, it is telling women what to do. Baby politics, dress codes, mothering expectations, hair policies, communication critiques, mandatory smiles, fashion dos and don’ts, and even fucking bangs. People can not help obsessing about telling women how they are doing it all wrong. […]

I just spent the weekend at a retreat for my kid’s school at a magical little nature lodge on a volcano by a river and it was my favorite kind of time. Everyone just hanging out, cabin rotations, no privacy, shared meals, and everywhere I went there was someone I knew, and was about to […]

My family is not super into sports. I tried, believe me. I am from Boston and sports fanaticism is a pretty much a general requirement of Bostonian identity – but no. Sports do not to speak to me, and the aggressive and/or rape culture associated with some sports has always made me recoil. The school […]

I am a mom. You’re probably thinking: “Yeah, we get it Karen. We’ve seen your posts. You’re a mom.” But I am like, the mommiest mom you can think of. I know this because small children I don’t know walk up to me and hand me their gum, or their foot so I can tie […]

My dad died when I was 30 and my mom died 6 years later. I was 36 when I became an orphan. So, like, yeah, I was married with two kids in a house on a cul-de-sac and I was pretty sure I was pulling off the “I am a real life grown-up” vibe. It […]

“Qualifications should be the only thing that matter.” “Why do we have to divide on the basis of race?” “Isn’t it silly to keep talking about gender?” “Why all the labels?” Oh man, do I just love these questions. They always seem to float to the surface when someone who has been marginalized on the […]

Mimi died today. Mimi is the Italian matriarch of my ex-husband”s family, and although I did not keep in close contact with her after the divorce, I loved that woman so much. I met her when I was 30 and she was in her 70’s and we instantly liked each other. For seven years she […]

In a world where women need to smile constantly, as a creepy little tax to simply live in the word, I have a daughter who is just not having it. This is my daughter Boo, as Dorothy, when she was 8. You know, kind of like a “Don’t Fuck With Me” Dorothy. She is not […]

This is Marianne. She just had a birthday, and now she is 50. And I love her. But I still have not called her. Why is that? A) I am a shitty friend. B) I want to do something special but couldn’t figure out what. C) I figured it out and was scared to commit. […]